Annie On Writing

October 18, 2010

The Trouble with Dialogue – Part 1

Filed under: Articles From write anything,Writing Tips — Annie Evett @ 12:01 am
Tags: ,

This article first appeared over at Write Anything

Like any emerging writer, my first stories are liberally sprinkled with cringeworthy “he said…… she said….” and a number of worse yet those adverbs – “she said emphatically…. he said haughtily”.

I’ve taken my journey as a writer seriously, acting upon feedback from readers, attending workshops and seminars and reading alot about writing. It would seem, from all of these sources, that dialogue is an area which causes a great deal of grief to both emerging and seasoned writers.

I’ve collated my notes from various sources and would like to share them with you in four parts. This post will discuss the generally accepted rules of dialogue. Next weeks post will explore finding your writing voice to express dialogue, the following week looking at authentic dialogue and the last week will cover it off with some bullet points.

Dialogue is used within the text to

ensure the story moves along

  • reveal key information so that the reader is not bogged down into lengthy descriptive narrative.
  • allow a character to reveal their quirks and idiosyncrasies.
  • Some writers make the mistake of overusing dialogue where it has no real purpose. The hard and fast rule which applies to all writing, also applies with dialogue.

Every word must have a reason for being there. That reason is to move the narrative forward.

Many writers are stuck in grade school thinking, where full sentences and correct grammatical structure is required, particularly when it includes the speech marks followed by “he/she said.”

Dialogue is one place within your writing you can throw away your normal grammatical rules. Over the following weeks, I will explore this notion a little deeper; suffice to say, normal people do not speak in grammatically correct sentences. Its for this reason that short, snappy phrases aught to be utilised, rather than lengthy sentences as they are more likely to engage a reader. This is achieved by leaving out the verbs. In the control of a thoughtful writer these exchanges have the ability to add drama and realism. Again, this will depend on your character, the setting and purpose of their dialogue.

The other grammatical rule which can be ignored is that of possession. After attending a workshop with Nick Earls on the panel, I began to experiment with the way he writes his dialogue – by ignoring possession. Very often exchanges are proceeded or prefaced with a characters name. Particularly with a heated or passionate conversation the interjection of characters names can slow or stilt the pace; jolting the reader out of the action. Certainly if there are two characters in the same space, there is no reason to continue writing who said what. Three and four characters in a conversation can also be accommodated without indicating who said a line. Characterisation and wording is more likely to colour who has said a line , rather than spelling it out.

If your characterisation and the dialogue you have written is strong enough, there is no need to indicate who has written in, nor how they did it.

eg – “Thats it!” Boris shouted emphatically… ….

can be edited down to just what is said; so long as the character of Boris has been painted in the readers mind as a forceful and passionate man who is excited about what has just happened. Allow your reader to fill in the blanks. They will connect with your characters in a stronger way if you as a writer give them that freedom. After all, no-one likes to be spoon-fed.

Well written dialogue has the ability to:

  • Foreshadow or hint at future possibilities and events.
  • ensure that when any of these events take place, that they are vivid in the readers mind.
  • breathe life into characters
  • produce a spark in the relationships between characters

Whilst most writers will have heard the advice “show not tell” with regards to their descriptive narrative; similarly with dialogue, it is better to show rather than spell it out and tell your readers certain things.

Include or think about trying some of these tips I picked up in order to make dialogue more natural.

  • Use contractions (“don’t”, “shouldn’t”, “can’t”) rather than “should not” or “can not” – unless your character is very stuffy or speaking in a very formal setting.
  • Throw away “said”
  • Resist over – using other words which mean ‘said’ (shouted, fumed, whined, cried, whispered, sighed etc)
  • Allow characters to stumble or break off their phrases or let other characters finish thoughts.. its what happens in real life after all!
  • Write an exchange between two characters WITHOUT any reference to who is saying what. You will probably find it reads smoother with better pacing.
  • Allow characters to interrupt each other.
  • Interject with a very occasional “umm” and “errr” and “ahhh” to indicate a characters hesitation or nervousness.

Nothing pulls a reader out of a story faster than bad or clumsy dialogue. Go and eavesdrop on conversations, use your ‘little notebook’ and record what is being said and marvel at the lack of grammar and structure; explore what other writers do with their dialogue and then revisit some of your narrative and use what you have seen and read tighten up your style.


1 Comment »

  1. I’ve always been under the influence of Stephen King when it comes to dialog. Like you advise, he favors a simple “he said” over a flourish of simpered, whined, cried, and the like. He even stands up to the adverb, admonishing the offensive “ly” in any writing. I’ve noticed your penchant for saidless dialog in your flash fiction and it’s true that the conversation comes across as real and is less likely to distract from the action of the narrative. I’m leaning more toward your way of thinking after reading this article. I think I’ll give it a whirl and let my characters speak for themselves in my next piece.


    Comment by Laura Rachel Fox — October 20, 2010 @ 4:52 am | Reply

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