New Years Anti Resolutions

Here is a writing tag found on Dales Post on Write Anything

Its meant to get your creativity going… so please play along.. The rules:
•    List ten things you resolve not to do in the upcoming year.
•    Be as creative as possible.
•    Post them on your blog and leave a link to your blog in your comments to this post – oh and invite other writers you know to either visit Dales post – or mine – or yours – or all of them and post THIER links to them…
1.    I will not use the barmix in the laundry sink to try and break up the vomit in an attempt to flush it down the plughole after a party.
2.    I will not take over the world this year. I am having issues enough attempting to control the administration on my alarmingly growning number of Blogs and associated email accounts AND the growing jungle that once used to be my office. I will hang a warning sign outside and find an elephant gun to post near the door in case anyone is brave enough to enter the depths of doom lurking inside. I am hanging crosses round the kids necks and throwing garlic in at regular intervals.
3.    No matter how tempting it is, I will not post my children to the salt mines – even though for years, my mother threatened to do the same to me when I misbehaved.. to the point I wouldn’t eat salt in case a child had to be recruited to go and mine it… I will however look into the sale process  for grandmothers; I have heard there a market for them and will approach the vendors to see if they might like to diversify into  younger  products with a longer shelf life.
4.    I will not use a forwarded email to save the whales, search for lost children, lobby for animal causes nor campaign for cancer treatments. Instead I will research these hoaxes and invest my time in caring about real issues. ( that aught to distract me a bit more from my writing.. now that’s a thought….)
5.    I will paint with my fingers with my three year old instead of worrying how to get the stains out of her shirt.
6.    When the new neighbours next door start another karaoke party at 11 pm, I will go and join them, rather than stuff pillows over my head and wonder how I got so old  so quickly.
7.    I will not question or comment upon the toilet seat position in either of the bathrooms this year. Instead I will super glue it up and bring my own seat, in the smug realization that I will always have  sanitary place to park my butt.
8.    I will not attempt the ridiculous weight loss guilt trip until all of the Christmas and New Years food and drink items has been used up. By then it aught to be time to gear up for the chocolate fest/ Easter – so its useless to start a diet then either.
9.    I will join in on the fun on the trampoline with my kids instead of saying “later”. I will not however attempt the triple flip I used to do when I was a teenager.
10.    I will not offer the answer to peoples questioning looks when they look at my business card – announcing that I am a Writer and a Thaumaturg. Nor will I look apologetic when they don’t understand my sense of humour when I attempt to explain it. Get a dictionary, you uneducated plebs.